I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The police scanner is talking about you again....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She swung at the pinata with crutches
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
