remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
