and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
