just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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