I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
