He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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