I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
