so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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