It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
