How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
