Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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