i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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