I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
