she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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