this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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