Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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