Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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