Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
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I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
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Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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