And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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