I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
