Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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