Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
