Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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