I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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