yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I've blown a few things in my day
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
