she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
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He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize