Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
