I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
