you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
