We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
