Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
