come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
ttyl tear gas
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
