Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize