i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
