I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
