In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
