i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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