he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
