Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
And then he peed in my hair
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