she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
