The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
