we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I didn't notice because vodka
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
