As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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