Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
