i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
