Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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