remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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