Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
