Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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