The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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