she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
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I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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