Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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