she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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