I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
