So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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