Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
