So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize