i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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