Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
