i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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