you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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